Why self-care can be difficult when you care deeply

Self-care is frequently a challenge for highly sensitive people. We are very good at picking up on & tending to the needs of others - so much so that we often run out of steam &/or neglect our own self-care. Some HSPs might serve others with such consistency & dedication that even being aware of & understanding our own needs are challenges.

I discuss Daisy’s challenges with self-care in this episode of “Ask Mary.”

“It’s the job of the inner critic to keep us in our comfort zone.”

~ Marissa Peers

What you will learn in this post:

  • Self Care Rituals - {I have some ideas for you}

  • Self-Awareness - Why is it SO important?

  • Being hard on yourself - Why is this behavior so negative?

{Question submitted by ‘Daisy’}

I invite you to watch the video below now.

Notes

Selflessness & selfishness

Neither selflessness nor selfishness is ideal, but there’s a happy medium that I want for you. It’s a place where we truly honor and care for ourselves while we also lovingly care for others. 

We often demonstrate our love for others by caring for them - with tenderness & loving-kindness. If we really think about it, isn’t this the same kind of love and care we should be sharing with ourselves?

When we fill up our own cup with self-care, we have more to give others. It’s as simple as that.

Self-awareness

The 2 most common personality types on the Myers-Briggs inventory for HSPs are INFPs and INFJs. {In the video, I failed to say “for HSPs”; my bad.}

INFPs & INFJs are sensitive in nature and tuned into the needs of others. Many are very self-aware. If you are struggling with self-care, you might need some help learning how to tune inward. For example: Each day after you’ve been awake for awhile, check in and ask yourself how you’re feeling. Ask yourself questions such as: Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Do I need to take a break? What is my body telling me? Please check in with yourself several times throughout the day. Eventually, this “check in” becomes second nature & a very positive habit.

You might be surprised by the results you see. You’ll get more things done & feel much better mentally, spiritually and physically.

Journaling is also very helpful. So is any kind of creative endeavor. {I love to dance!}

Please schedule in self-care; it’s a must!

Being hard on yourself & self esteem

  • Family of origin (FOO) - The family in which we were raised - the people who shaped us in our formative years. Our FOO’s impact on each of us is immense.

  • Perfectionism - So many women get caught up in this unhealthy cycle - with its unachievable “goal.”

  • Inner Critic - The voices we hear in our head - telling us that we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, etc. Let’s squash those voices!

Self-esteem is obviously a huge & very important topic. I’ll blog more about this topic in future posts. The main point I want to highlight here is: As we grow in self-confidence & self-esteem (totally do-able, btw), the less the opinions of others matter to us. Our inner critic quiets. We feel less inclined to feel the need to be “perfect.” Perfection is an illusion - after all. We are “perfect” (complete; whole) just as we are - in all of our unique quirkiness & beauty. Let your glorious light shine; our world needs YOU!

Resources

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I’m Mary - a Highly Sensitive Person, cat lover and guidance counselor for adults. I love helping young women navigate life while caring for their sensitive souls. Thank you so much for your time today. It’s always my pleasure to get to know you and be of support. I do hope you enjoyed my video :)

Please follow me on my Facebook Business Page. If my work resonates with you, I think you’ll enjoy joining my email list & receiving my free HSP Manifesto. Hope to connect with you soon!

Love + Meow.

❤ Mary

TSS 🐈


Do you have a question or topic you’d like me to discuss?

Self CareMary BarringerSelf Esteem, Self AwarenessComment